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You have demonstrated none of that, but like the shallow mind that thinks that Moby Dick is about a whale, you persist in thinking physical comedy is about being fat and falling down. There is context and nuance and a mountain of physical talent involved in that genre of humor. A fat guy falling down is not funny in and of itself. If you think that you are following in the footsteps of great comedians who used their bulk as a prop in physical comedy, then you are horribly mistaken. Your entire oeuvre revolves around the presumption that it is funny that you are fat and fall down. Kevin James, please, if you are reading this, realize that you do not have the slightest talent for physical comedy.
PAUL BLART MALL COP MOVIE SCENES FULL
That’s right, this review is going full Godwin.
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Well following orders was established as not being a defense for evil at Nuremberg, so dammit it’s not a defense for producing this sort of shit either. I know, I know, normal honest people just collecting a paycheck, and following orders. Yes, actors, director, producers all the way down to catering and whatever the hell a key grip actually is. Every scene feels like the overly stretched painful part of every bad SNL sketch, without even having an initial joke it’s trying to hang the humor on.Įvery single person involved in this production should feel at least some shame for having contributed to the creation of this desolation of any purpose. At least those have a single joke to beat into the ground in the first place. This is not the mundane lousy comedy that has one joke and beats it into the ground. You know Saturday Night Live sketches that have one joke and yet go on for ten minutes anyway and make you want to die? This is that stretched to almost an hour and a half. For over half the movie the audience is subjected to scene after scene that is apparently supposed to be funny despite containing not a single joke, bit of wit, or really anything that could objectively be classified as “humor” by any stretch. Happy Madison Productions do not fit in that category. There are movies that benefit from a slow burn that lets you marinate in the characters before the real action starts. It takes 45 minutes of that run time before the heist starts. Nominally at least Blart goes to Vegas and stumbles upon a heist and stops it. It barely clocks 80 minutes by the most generous of rounding errors around the previews ending and the credits rolling. It has no redeeming qualities of any kind. But then you all knew that would be the case, and you’re just here to read my kicking of the corpse anyway. Paul Blart 2 is a complete failure of a movie.